Let Them by Cassie Phillips
Just Let them.
If they want to choose something or someone over you, LET THEM.
If they want to go weeks without talking to you, LET THEM.
If they are okay with never seeing you, LET THEM.
If they are okay with always putting themselves first, LET THEM.
If they are showing you who they are and not what you perceived them to be, LET THEM.
If they want to follow the crowd, LET THEM.
If they want to judge or misunderstand you, LET THEM.
If they act like they can live without you, LET THEM.
If they want to walk out of your life and leave, hold the door open, AND LET THEM.
Let them lose you.
You were never theirs because you were always your own.
So let them.
Let them show you who they truly are, not tell you.
Let them prove how worthy they are of your time.
Let them make the necessary steps to be a part of your life.
Let them earn your forgiveness.
Let them call you to talk about ordinary things.
Let them take you out on a Thursday.
Let them talk about anything and everything just because it’s you they are talking to.
Let them have a safe place in you.
Let them see the heart in you that didn’t harden.
Let them love you.
I ran across this poem not long ago and it appears to be picking up speed over the last year or so in various circles. Most can be found on social media groups soft on the Lord and heavy on the assertion of victim status. And if you read through this poem a few times you can clearly see why. There are hints within this poem of a series of Biblical concepts, certainly in Matthew 5. If you aren’t clear on this, you should chase that link and brush up a bit, as this blog centers on that chapter.
If you take a deeper dive though, the Matthew 5 concepts, whether they’re surrounding personal relationships, discipleship, or the Beatitudes, don’t have an undertow of victimology as this poem implies. It is important to properly grasp when we’ve been wronged and what our response should be as defined by Him. Turning the other cheek is often misunderstood, but vital. Yet, we can’t ignore some of the glaring problems with taking the posture this poem tacitly offers.
I’m curious. At what point did we become our own? “You were never theirs because you were always your own,” is the line at the pivot point of the poem. I thought we were His. And when we realize we belong to the Lord, a good portion of this poem flies out the window. How could you love somebody that truly needed it if you waited for them to check all your boxes first? Didn’t He come to fulfill the law and shape things into two simple precepts – love Him and love each other?
Yes, if you’ve been hurt by a loved one, spouse, or significant other, I can see how this poem might grab you. The big risk present here is the self-pity that so often accompanies words that are arranged like this.
I’d prefer to believe Cassie Phillips had the best of intentions when penning this poem. I don’t have such talents, so I’m left to admire her work. She’s doing something I’m not simply not able to do and I’m glad she is. But I caution you on how you consider and apply it. If the sentiment is as simple as “Don’t be a punching bag,” then I’ll back you up on that notion. But… If you instead put up walls rather than forgive and love, all while you feel sorry for yourself, you’re going to end up in a really lousy place more than likely. When we elevate ourselves beyond being hers/his or our own and recognize we belong to the Lord, it truly improves the quality of our thoughts and behavior.
Take the monkey off your back and give it to Him. Learn how you each OUGHT to behave instead of relying on the flawed view of a poem that touched a nerve. There is a time for everything we learn in Ecclesiastes, but you shouldn’t linger long in melancholy. Skip the cliche screenshots and stop hitting the “Share” button on things like this. If you’re truly interested in understanding, proper behavior, the nature of love, and best practices for living, go read Matthew 5 with as much passion as you did Cassie’s poem. Then keep rereading it every single day until you “get it” – trust me, you’ll recognize when that day comes.
I pray you both grasp and become salt and light. He loves you, as do I.