I’ve heard them all. My wife happened across this article and shared it with me. Believe me, as an adoptive parent, I’ve experienced just about every cliche you can think of. Some are silly. Some or ignorant. Some are naive. Some are mean. But, just as all things, if we seek more understanding and good information, we’ll be improved.
https://adoption.com/it-drives-me-crazy-when-people-say-these-things-about-adoption
“I could never give up a child.”
You sure about that? What if you didn’t have family, or were terminally ill with nobody to care for your babe, or you simply didn’t have the means, financial or otherwise, to give your blessing from God the opportunity and chance they truly deserve in life? What about then? Would you put them and their shot at life ahead of your own when you think of it in those terms?
“Do you know his real parents?”
This one tends to get me miffed quick, but I have to let it go just as quickly. They don’t know jack, or they wouldn’t have even asked that question in that fashion. Are people ignorant and silly when they frame their question in that light? Why sure they are. But, I need to forgive them the moment they say it. Instead, they’ve created the opportunity to let them know in no uncertain terms, that indeed I am my son’s father and my wife is actually my daughter’s mother. Did a birth parent honor these little kids by adopting out? You betcha. Am I eternally grateful? There’s no way in which I can pay the Lord back for these blessings.
“You’re such good people to take in a child like that…”
EHHH. (annoying buzzer sound) – do not pass go, do not collect $200. You got that one all wrong. God built our family this way. We prayed until we could puke coat hangers for our children and the Almighty answered our prayers. My wife and I didn’t save our kids. They saved us, just as God intended.
Anybody ever heard of an ol’ boy named Moses? I have. If you’re flipping through Exodus you might be interested in the story of Jochebed who placed her little boy in a basket and sent him drifting down a river. The Pharaoh had decreed all male Hebrew babies be killed. One of the Pharaoh’s own daughters happened across the babe, adopted him into their family, and he grew up to become a pivotal person in our history and Faith. Can you imagine life without Moses as a faithful servant of God? Jochebed risked it all to provide a chance for her son.
Exodus 2:1-10 – 1 Now a man from the house of Levi went and married a daughter of Levi. 2 The woman conceived and bore a son; and when she saw that he was beautiful, she hid him for three months. 3 But when she could hide him no longer, she got him a wicker basket and covered it over with tar and pitch. Then she put the child into it and set it among the reeds by the bank of the Nile. 4 His sister stood at a distance to find out what would happen to him. 5 The daughter of Pharaoh came down to bathe at the Nile, with her maidens walking alongside the Nile; and she saw the basket among the reeds and sent her maid, and she brought it to her. 6 When she opened it, she saw the child, and behold, the boy was crying. And she had pity on him and said, “This is one of the Hebrews’ children.” 7 Then his sister said to Pharaoh’s daughter, “Shall I go and call a nurse for you from the Hebrew women that she may nurse the child for you?” 8 Pharaoh’s daughter said to her, “Go ahead.” So the girl went and called the child’s mother. 9 Then Pharaoh’s daughter said to her, “Take this child away and nurse him for me and I will give you your wages.” So the woman took the child and nursed him. 10 The child grew, and she brought him to Pharaoh’s daughter and he became her son. And she named him Moses, and said, “Because I drew him out of the water.”
So here’s the real scoop. I won’t sugar coat it. I become irritated when people say silly things about adoption. I have to remember though, that they simply don’t understand or haven’t thought through this to reach a conclusion. It is incumbent upon me to help educate them and show them the truth. If I don’t do this, it dishonors the choice the birth parents made and it disrespects my own children.
I’m to be salt and light. Remember? I need to forgive and educate. I seek forgiveness myself. Do I not?
Ephesians 4:32 – Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.
Salt and light friends… Salt and light.