I experienced something that I never assumed possible. Troubles with a trusted brother. You know. The kind you read about or hear about, but also the kind you never expect to actually happen to you or around you. That kind of trouble.
Oh how wrong the person that mutters, “I never thought something like that would happen here.” Under what circumstances do they find themselves making such a statement? …You guessed it. Directly after the unthinkable has come to pass.
With no small wonder, the evidence can often be misleading. What we thought we knew, was not. Assumption, or assume makes and “ass” out of “u” and “me” more often than we may grasp. Sure, mistakes were made. The reality is something far less sinister. I mistook a withdrawal away me as proof of the improvable. The supposed withdrawal came a result of my presumed disinterest. Yet, no true problem existed beyond the obvious – no earnest communication was offered when the appearance of something skewed had presented itself. We both made assumptions and avoided the simplicity of a frank and respectful dialogue.
We neither asked of ourselves, nor of one another, that which was true. Had we mined for truth, the crisis could have been averted in total.
I avoided a palatable question to my friend, as did he with me. The importance of being honest and forthcoming coupled with the desire and ability to accept the question put forth as such is the foundation for any healthy relationship. I skipped a vital respect and didn’t confer it to my brother who deserved and needed it. While the end result was chocked full of joy in the truest sense of the word, I pray I handle things better when this undoubtedly happens in the future…
Street speak – we both screwed up. We handled it terribly. We should have talked it out. We didn’t until long after things slid sideways and a series of compounding mistakes were made. We ended up fine, maybe even great. We also could have avoided a big problem if either of us had sat down together and confronted and confessed.
Matthew 18:15 – If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.
Be salt and seek light my friends.